|
|
She's the Man Quotes
Cheryl: Chew like you have a secret...
Andrew: Well hey there pretty lady.
Monique: Ew! What... what are you hitting on me?
Andrew: I was just...
Monique: [mimicking] "I was just... nyuh". OK, let me put a stop to that little brain fart right now. Girls with asses like mine do not talk to boys with faces like yours
Viola: [Viola's mom shows her a dress] Sorry mom, I have a strict "No Ruffles" policy.
Coach Pistonek: Yeah. Yeah. NO. No playing. You have to forfeit. There's no girls in this league. Here, look in the manual.
Coach Dinklage: [tears the rulebook in half] What manual? Listen pal. Here at Illyria, we don't discriminate based on gender.*Pokes Coach Pistonek*
Coach Pistonek: All right, that's gonna bruise. Fine. You really think you can beat us with a girl on your team?
Justin: This will be fun.
Coach Pistonek: Go. I get to say the last word, not you. Go.
Coach Dinklage: [shouted] Break it up. Break it up. Okay, tough guys. You want to box, then get out of my stadium. Or otherwise, get on with the game. All right? That goes for the rest of ya. Now get on and play some real football. A bunch of girls.
Principal Gold: [on the megaphone] Okay, the rest of you, let's get on and play some football like a bunch of girls, all right? I mean, not football, it's soccer. That's what you call it in the states.
Cheryl: You did all this to play soccer?
Duke: Well a few days ago, I kissed this girl at a kissing booth and now I just can't seem to stop thinking about her
Viola: Neither can she
Daphne: What? Why? He's so handsome...and rugged and chiseled, and great.
Viola: What does your heart tell you?
Duke: What?
Viola: I mean... which one would you rather see NAKED?
Duke: Why, why do you always talk about girls in such graphic terms?
Duke: Why, why do you always talk about girls in such graphic terms?
Duke: [borrowed one of Viola's tampons after getting into a fist fight with justin] oh, yeah, i uh, borrowed one of your... yeah... and youre right, they really do work!
Viola: it absorbs it right up
Cheryl: [after breaking up with justin] but why? He's so handsome, and rugged, and chisled, and great.
Viola: Then why don't you date him mom?
Cheryl: [pauses and fantasizes] oh no...i couldn't
Viola: [Olivia to Viola at kissing booth] Beware the old guy chewing gum...it's not gum.
Duke: [wants sebastion to get olivia to go on a date w/him] Help her see that I'm a good guy and she should date me.....
Viola: Dude she's had that option for like three years...
Viola: No man, I mean...if you wanna kiss her...you KISS her! You just... take her...then kiss the CRAP outta her!
Duke: Okay
Viola: [as Sebastian] What does your heart tell you? uhh..I mean which one would you rather see NAKED?!
Duke: Why..Why do you always talk about girls in such graphic terms?
Toby: [talking about Eunice] She's got a little somethin' somethin' goin on.
Andrew: Yeah...asthma and headgear.
Duke: [with tampon stuck up his nose after a fight]
Duke: [looks at Viola/Sebastion] Oh, um...I uh, hope you don't mind I borrowed...one of your...yeah.
Viola: You know how it is. New school, new babe pool.
Toby: I need your advice man. I got lady troubles.
Viola: I'm here for you bro. I got a lifetime of knowledge.
Viola: So, uh, you play the beautiful game... bros... brothers... brethren?
Toby: How come when I wanted to ask Eunice out everyone made fun of me but when Sebastian likes her she's hot. No, screw you guys. I hate high school.
Duke: I kinda got into it with your sisters ex
Viola: Really. Why?
Duke: He kinda saw us making out at the kissing booth.
Viola: Wiat... you kissed her.
Duke: It's just like Coach says before every game: 'Be not afraid of greatness. Some are born great. Some achieve greatness. Some have greatness thrust upon them.' I think our best chance to be great here today, is to have you play.
Coach Dinklage: [yelling] LET'S GO! KICK! KILL!
Justin: [Justin blocks duke's shot] That's right. Didn't score on me last half won't score on this half. I'm a ninja. Ninja Goalie.
Viola: [as Sebastian] I skipped a couple grades. I'm brilliant. Shhh.
[after getting hit in the crotch with a soccer ball]
Viola: [as Sebastian] Oh... right... OWWWW. FOR THE LOVE OF GOD. IT BURNS.
Duke: I gotta go change my feet.
Viola: Speaking as a completely objective third party observer with absolutely no personal interest in the matter...
Viola: [as Sebastian to roommates] We're gonna be tight, bro.
Principal Gold: Sexual tension, male female dynamics... all part of the high school experience...
Duke: Do you like... cheese?
Duke: Um, uh, ok, so, should I ask her out?
Viola: No. You don't want to freak her out; you've got to have a casual conversation first, hello?
[Duke looks away in frustration]
Viola: Why do I get the feeling you don't do this very often?
Duke: Man, I just, I'm not really good at talking to girls.
Viola: Why you're hot?
Duke: What?
Viola: [clears throat] Ya know, you're an appealing guy- man- guy- guy man.
Duke: Look, I don't know, I just always say the wrong- I just always say the wrong thing.
Viola: OK. Alright, come on, get up. I wanna trying something where I'm gonna act like a girl and you're gonna talk to me, ok?
Duke: Ew. Do, do I have to?
Viola: Yes. Cause, "I'm Viola. Duke, nice to meet you."
Duke: OK, that was creepy. You really just sounded like a girl just then.
Viola: I used to imitate my sister all the time. I got really good at it. Come on, get up. Ask me some questions and if the chemistry's right things will just start flowin'.
Duke: Questions about what?
Viola: Anything. Ask me if I like... cheese.
Duke: [Laughing] Um, ok. Do you... like... cheese?
Viola: [Girl's voice] Why yes I do. My favourite's gouda.
Olivia: You're right.
Viola: I know.
Olivia: The next time I see Sebastian, I am gonna march right up to him...
Viola: You march.
Olivia: ...I'm gonna tell him how I feel...
Viola: You tell him.
Olivia: ...and then I'm going to kiss him so passionately...
Viola: What?
Olivia: ...that even the people he hates will feel pleasure.
Viola: I just can't do this.
Paul: Just remember, inside every girl, there's a boy. Wait, that sounded wrong.
Viola: So what about the thing... we talked about it... that you're gonna do later?...
Duke: What thing? I'm... I'm thingless...
Coach Pistonek: I don't know that that's a thing that I know.
Viola: What are you talking about? Why are you lying?
Justin: ...Well, end of discussion...
Viola: FINE. End of relationship...
Justin: ...I just don't want you to get hurt...
Viola: Uhh... you are so full of S -...
[whistle blow]
Viola: ...and when I close my eyes, I see you for who you truly are, which is UUUGLAY.
Viola: Be a man. Suck it up and rub some dirt in IT.
Duke: All right, I'll rub some dirt on it...
Sebastian: [talking about musicians] Last time I heard, they don't need to know TRIGONOMETRY.
Viola: Do you know how many bands actually make it to the big time?
Sebastian: Probably the same as female soccer players...
Andrew: [to Duke] Some guys just walk in the light you know.
Duke: [when Viola took Olivia's place at the kissing booth before Duke was just about to have his turn] Man. I can't catch a break.
[turned to Viola]
Duke: But you're... you know... also...
Viola: I am?
Duke: [at the kissing booth] What do you think its going to be like?
Toby: It's going to be really special, she's just about kissed 300 guys at his point.
Malcolm: I get to take a shower. I get to take a shower.
Malcolm: [gasp]
[realizing he forget to introduce himself]
Malcolm: Malcolm Festes, Dorm Director. Shower shoes are to be worn in the bathroom at all times except when IN the actual shower... Did you not read your "Dorm Life" pamphlet? It was in your cubby.
[Duke walks in and hits Malcolm behind the head with a towel]
Viola: Sup dog?
Duke: [almost imitating Viola] Yeah, what's kickin', homie?
Viola: Later.
Duke: Hey, you forgot, ew...
[holding up Viola's chest bandage]
Duke: This, coolio.
Viola: Word, g-money.
Duke: It's just like Coach says before every game: 'Some are born great, some achieve greatness, and some have greatness thrust upon them.' I think our best chance to be great here today, is to have you play.
Viola: [getting into catfight] You are messing with the wrong man.
Olivia: We could double. I'm sure Eunice is available.
Eunice: I am so there, it's insane.
Viola: [as Sebastian] Why didn't you wake me?
Eunice: You looked so serene. I made breakfast, darling.
Malcolm: I am convinced he's hiding something.
Principal Gold: Oh, nonsense, Malcolm. He may be a little lost and confused, but deep down he's an all-american, red-blooded male, just like yourself.
Viola: [walking by, dressed as Sebastian, while on the phone] Mom, I will pick out my own dress. And no, I will not wear high heels. Because heels are a male invention designed to make women's butts look smaller... and to make it harder for them to runaway.
Principal Gold: Malcolm, have you ever tried to run away in high heels?
Malcolm: No, sir, I-
Principal Gold: Not that easy. Not that easy...
Viola: What does your heart tell you?
Duke: What?
Viola: I mean... which one would you rather see NAKED?
Roger: Is it me or does this soccer game have more nudity than most
Duke: [Sees box of tampons in combat boot] Hey... hey, why do you have tampons in your boot
Viola: Uhh... I get really bad nosebleeds.
Andrew: So you stick them up your nose?
Viola: Yeah. What? You... you've never done that?
[all three guys shakes heads]
Viola: Oh my god, Beckham does it all the time.
Duke: Seriously?
Viola: Yes. Look. Got to show you how to do it. You take that off, and whatever that is, and you stick it right in. It absorbs right up.
Duke: What're you gonna do, drown me in your tears?
Justin: I did not cry during that game. I had something in my eye.
Monique: Hey, what's that over there?
[points to her far left]
Kia: [follows Monique's finger]
Paul: Kia, don't look.
Kia: [turns away]
Sebastian: Besides, if you want to chase your dreams, sometimes you gotta break the rules, right?
Viola: You know what? If you can't join 'em, beat 'em.
Viola: [as Sebastian] Hi, Eunice. Sorry for running out on our date.
Eunice: It's okay. My intensity scares some people.
Monique: Hello, Viola.
Viola: Oh, boy. This isn't good.
Monique: And hello to you little... homewrecker.
Olivia: Uh, who are you?
Monique: I am Sebastian's girlfriend.
Viola: Ex-Girl-Friend.
Monique: Okay. Everyone's gotta stop saying that.
Olivia: Oh. You're the girl he dumped in the pizza parlor the other day.
Monique: He did not dump me. We're just going through a rough patch.
Olivia: Really? 'Cause I heard he dumped you. He dumped you good. It was like a big, huge dumping.
Andrew: Freshman dorm's that-a-way twiglet
Eunice: [wheezing] I'll be the best lab partner you ever had
Duke: [sees Olivia switch kissing booth places with Viola] Just my luck.
[sees look on Viola's face]
Duke: [to Viola] No, no, no, no. I didn't mean it like that. I mean, she's... you know... Ok. Um, on the other hand you're also...
9 Year Old Boy: You don't have to flirt with her first, okay, genius? You're paying for it.
Principal Gold: [referring to Sebastian] He's probably halfway to China by now, I mean, he showed his "willis and doodleberries"....
Duke: Two weeks ago, I met this girl at a kissing booth, and I really can't stop thinking about her.
Viola: Neither can she.
Daphne: Nonsense! You don't need a man to wear a beautiful dress!
Paul: But it sure does help.
Paul: Vi- be a good boy.
Justin: Could you be a girl for just 5 seconds
Viola: Ok...First of all it's not a stupid soccer issue and...you're a jerk. Oh look at that, times up.
[slaps him in the face]
Viola: Quit blushing...THAT'S LAME
Duke: SHUT UP I'M NOT BLUSHING
Viola: Does he have your number, 1-800-BIOTCH?
|
